


Can't take the ache from heartbreak

by 2009TheYearOfUs



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 00:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6493900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2009TheYearOfUs/pseuds/2009TheYearOfUs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He beat me to the post.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't take the ache from heartbreak

Jongin lay in bed wide awake that night, sleep not coming nearly as easily as it usually would; when he would finish dance practise in the studio and take the bus home, crashing onto the mattress and staying that way like an overweight bear until the morning rays would peep through the tinted window panes.

His heart was thudding erratically against his chest, and it was obvious why that was the case: It was finally Valentine’s Day. And after a number of pokes and prods from his crew members to confess to a certain doe-eyed boy that he had been admired for some time, he decided it would be better to confess now than never.

Because if his feelings weren’t returned, he wouldn’t mope around any longer. He would hopefully move on, was the idea. But if he didn’t speak up and say anything to Kyungsoo, he would never know how the other felt.

And unrequited love is the worst kind.

He cast a quick glance to his digital clock on the bedside table -- 3:48am -- Jongin heaved himself from bed and left his bedroom for the kitchen, taking a glass tumbler from the cabinet and pouring it full of water before chugging it down in one go. The refreshing coolness down his esophagus allowed a soft sigh to leave his throat.

His attention is drawn to the bouquet of red roses placed neatly in a vase of water; he bought them just the other day and wants to preserve them as best as possible when he finally gives them as an offering to Kyungsoo.

It’s not a huge deal, Jongin never was the outgoing type, but he hopes it is enough for Kyungsoo to understand his feelings.

After all, silence speaks a thousand words.

He takes the small yellow post-it note sat beside the vase and skim reads it again, flicking his phone to life and double-checking on Google Maps that he knows the way to Kyungsoo’s apartment, although it’s only a mere 10 minute walk away or 5 minute bus ride from Jongin’s own apartment in the city centre of Seoul.

Jongin could spend the remaining time until he leaves for Kyungsoo’s apartment by taking a shower and getting reading, but he’d be freshened up so early in the morning that if he leaves then, he runs the risk of Kyungsoo not having woken up yet.

However, part of him wants to do just that, and see a cute, flustered Kyungsoo standing at in the doorway clad in just his pyjamas and hair completely disheveled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes hurriedly.

Jongin eventually opts to mindlessly playing a videogame on his phone -- Superstar SMTown -- to pass time but so much so that he quickly loses track of time and then ends up hurriedly taking a shower, styling his hair and changing into casual, but deemingly smart attire, to make sure he stays on time to the plan.

Poor Jongin has to outright run to the bus stop to be on time, the bus driver is kind enough to wait just a few more seconds before whizzing away to the next stop for Jongin to clamber on board, kneeling over and panting as he displays his bus pass to move to sit down at the closest window seat possible.

He stares blankly out of the window at the passing scenery and his nerves were becoming all the more obvious; teeth grinding in unison and foot tapping irritably against the hard floor.

He has to stay alert - his bus ride would only be a few stops and he hasn’t been this direction before so he could easily miss the right one.

 

It’s exactly 10am when Jongin arrives outside Kyungsoo’s apartment, just as he had planned all along, and rings the doorbell somewhat hesitantly - part of him wants to crumble into a pile of dust before Kyungsoo has the chance to answer the door, but he stays put like the man he is supposed to be.

The door opens ever so slightly - it is clear to Jongin that it is caught on a sort of latch in case someone tries to barge in suddenly - and a pair of eyes peer round from the small gap now made.

“Jongin? What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo’s voice is laced with confusion, before he unlatches the door, clearly satisfied that Jongin poses no threat.

“Well, um-” Jongin can feel his cheeks heating up as he bashfully reaches up and scratches the shell of his left ear, other arm hidden behind his back along with the roses.

Another voice chimes in from further into the apartment, “Who’s at the door Soo?”, before the undeniable figure of Kim Junmyeon appears in the corridor entrance leading from the presumed living room.

“U-uh- Jongin-” Kyungsoo blurts out, visibly dumbfounded at the situation unfolding.

“I’ll be going, then-” Jongin doesn’t even manage a small ‘goodbye’, the bunch of roses already discarded on the floor as he starts running down the corridor back to the elevator.

Kyungsoo audibly gasps as he eyes the roses, trashed and torn petals kicked up in a mess, now frantically scanning for Jongin who's already somewhere off in the distance.

“No! Jongin, WAIT!” Kyungsoo begins to give chase and Jongin can hear the footsteps tailing behind him, but it just makes the pain he’s feeling right now increase ten-times more.

He hasn’t even noticed the hot tears pouring down his cheeks.

He makes it into the elevator, practically spamming the button to the ground floor in an attempt to leave before Kyungsoo has the chance to stop him.

Poor Jongin’s heart has shattered into a million separate pieces, and facing Kyungsoo again right now would just make things worse when he needs time to be alone and comprehend that Junmyeon may have just stolen Kyungsoo away from him.

The doors were beginning to close as Kyungsoo huffs to reach him in time, but Jongin can only stand there and watch as the last few inches close up and his crush disappears on the other side of the thick steel walls.

As Jongin descends to the ground floor to pathetically walk back to his apartment, not willing to face anyone and take the bus again, he doesn’t see the way Kyungsoo dejectedly hobbles back to his own apartment, having twisted his ankle in the process of trying to catch up to Jongin.

Junmyeon is still waiting at the entrance, holding the door wide open with the bouquet of roses gripped firmly in his hands.

“Were these from Jongin? Was he about to confess?” He quizzes, a little concerned after seeing Kyungsoo’s eyes bloodshot and brimming with tears.

“About to... I think you should leave. I’ve got some calls to make.” Kyungsoo passes round Junmyeon and back through the threshold, bumping his shoulder in indication that Junmyeon was not on his good list for the time being.

Junmyeon sighs deeply, before placing the forlorn roses on the cabinet nearest to the door and slipping on his shoes before taking his leave.

Meanwhile, Kyungsoo limps his way over to the freezer and swings the door open to pull out a pack of frozen peas and wraps it in a tea towel, flopping onto the sofa and pulling up his jogging bottoms to reveal the swollen ankle.

He can’t help but hiss when he applies the pack and wraps it round his ankle firmly to try and reduce some swelling and bruising in the following days. Surely, he wouldn’t be going out for the next few days. Which brings about his next concern.

Jongin.

_You must be in a lot more pain that my pathetic twisted ankle._

He scrambles about to reach into his back pocket and whips out his phone, flicking through his contacts list at break-neck pace to find a certain ‘Jonginnie <3’ and type a quick message which he hopes that Jongin will see:

_It’s not what you think. Please, just come back to my apartment. I won’t be able to move for the next few days ^^;;_

 

Jongin checked that same message from Kyungsoo on his phone for the nth time that night, sat on the doorstep outside his own apartment and being covered in the first heavy snowfall for the year.

It was just bloody typical that it happened on Valentine’s day, of all days… you were supposed to see the first snow with your one true love.

By this point, Jongin didn’t particularly care if he caught a cold.

His mind was swimming with thoughts. 

Thoughts of Kyungsoo.

And why Junmyeon had been at his apartment.

Had Junmyeon beat him to it? Confessed before Jongin had the chance?

_‘It’s not what you think.’_

Clearly, he was just overthinking this whole situation.

The card that had been lovingly written for Kyungsoo, long ripped to shreds and shoved to the very bottom of the trash can in an attempt to block out the pain inside Jongin’s chest.

Jongin had planned this day to end with a completely different set of circumstances.

Rather than moping around for much longer, he rises from the cold concrete steps and enters his apartment, looking for a spare change of clothes and a towel to dry off with.

But then he spots the bottle of pills on his bed side table.

How easy would it be to just end it all?

Part of Jongin would rather die than be left with a shattered heart, distant from being fixed.

But he quickly dismisses the idea, deserting his house to take the now familiar route towards a certain heartbreaker’s apartment.

 

“Sit.” Kyungsoo pats the spot on the couch next to him, moving over to make more room for Jongin who looms over the elder.

Jongin’s eyes travel to Kyungsoo’s cold press around his ankle, and he immediately feels even more guilty for making poor Kyungsoo run all that way for absolutely no reason.

“I’m sorry,” he willingly plonks himself down next to Kyungsoo, staring at the injury.

“Why? I should apologise,” Kyungsoo’s tongue darts out to wet his parched lips, “for giving you the wrong impression.”

Jongin’s gaze flits up to Kyungsoo’s face somewhat suddenly, and he feels like a deer caught in a car's headlights.

“Junmyeon was only here for paperwork that I had to fill out. He needed it urgently and was in the area so he dropped by,” he gives a weak smile, “and is there any point in me asking why you were here?”

Jongin notices the bloom of red flowers on the mantle piece in Kyungsoo’s living room, and he can’t help but blush that Kyungsoo actually kept them in their trashy state and called him over here rather than discarding them in the trash.

When he tries to finally confess this time round, his tongue becomes the weight of lead and won’t move. 

Kyungsoo just giggles at this-- Jongin looks like a blubbing fish out of water.

He takes the speechless man's hands tightly into his own, swooping over to plant a kiss on the corner of Jongin’s lips before murmuring, “I forgive you. It’s ok. I can understand what you must’ve thought when you saw Junmyeon earlier.”

Jongin just continues to stare bug-eyed at Kyungsoo.

“The feelings are mutual.”


End file.
